Exist.‏

The question returns, hitting harder this time around. Why do you exist? 

To let everyone around you down or to simply keep falling?

From the confrontations with my friends, to practically failing in every subject in 12th and basically spending my parents money in classes, coaching, counselling and unnecessary expenditures, all I have been is a let down. 

I have committed blunders at every move in my life and have compromised my future. Hours before the exam, I sit and read chapters I hadn't throughout the year, sleep late and am a pathological liar about basically everything. My moods change like channels on the TV set of an unsatisfied child. I have no set priorities or goals, I have no clue how I should proceed and what I need to do next. I take everything for granted and never return the favour, from friendships to what my parents have done for me or my family towards me, I just let it be and let them down every second of my life. I just wish this is my 'self loathing phase', because if it isn't, I really don't wish to live anymore.