Wednesday, January 15


I take way too many things for granted. I don’t remember thanking my parents in months for anything that they did for me. I claim that I won’t miss anybody after I leave this fall, but I know I’ll come crawling back into the arms of my parents the second they’ll leave me to be.


As much as I try to convince myself that I dont regret any decision in life, my words return to stab me and pick my brain about how wrong I am.


Pulverized by the pain
She's reduced to ashes
She was young - she was frail
Troubled and a wrist full of slashes



Is it wrong that I feel happy about people dying? 

It's not like I'm sadistic, but I do feel happy for those who have passed away. Maybe jealous too but more happy. 

Jealous because I want to be where they are. In a better place. I'm not happy for myself though, happy for them, the dead, because they're in a much much better place away from the grim pain and misery that this existence traps within its bounds. I want to be there, where the dead lay, lay in a silence and peace and serenity and calmness.


Can I like sleep till the time a better life wakes me up?

What am I doing with my life? I 'study' a day before my exams and cry about my life and am literally stupider than an alpaca.