I take way too many things for granted. I don’t remember thanking my parents in months for anything that they did for me. I claim that I won’t miss anybody after I leave this fall, but I know I’ll come crawling back into the arms of my parents the second they’ll leave me to be.
Wednesday, January 15
Regret
As much as I try to convince myself that I dont regret any decision in life, my words return to stab me and pick my brain about how wrong I am.
Trouble
Pulverized by the pain
She's reduced to ashes
She was young - she was frail
Troubled and a wrist full of slashes
...
Death
Is it wrong that I feel happy about people dying?
It's not like I'm sadistic, but I do feel happy for those who have passed away. Maybe jealous too but more happy.
Jealous because I want to be where they are. In a better place. I'm not happy for myself though, happy for them, the dead, because they're in a much much better place away from the grim pain and misery that this existence traps within its bounds. I want to be there, where the dead lay, lay in a silence and peace and serenity and calmness.
It's not like I'm sadistic, but I do feel happy for those who have passed away. Maybe jealous too but more happy.
Jealous because I want to be where they are. In a better place. I'm not happy for myself though, happy for them, the dead, because they're in a much much better place away from the grim pain and misery that this existence traps within its bounds. I want to be there, where the dead lay, lay in a silence and peace and serenity and calmness.
Possibility
Can I like sleep till the time a better life wakes me up?
What am I doing with my life? I 'study' a day before my exams and cry about my life and am literally stupider than an alpaca.
RANT
I wish I could close my eyes and open them to find all my responsibilities disappear.
All I did was math today and devoting so much time as well, I'm certain I won't get anywhere near what I deserve.
Well, the other subjects, I haven't even started them yet, I'm far from even thinking of passing in them. The only thing that seems better than giving the exams is getting a life threatening disease. Looking back, it all seems to have gone so fast but the future seems like a snail walking in circles carrying weight multiple times itself.
Every time I get a mail, I rush to open it with crossed fingers hoping its an acceptance mail from a university to which I can just fly and leave all if this behind as soon as possible.
Kenway ❤️
I very well know how socially awkward I am and I'm not afraid to show it!
During my absolutely amazing time at the SMFA in Boston in June, I'd enrolled for the photography class and they were all M&C people there. Sigh, not Mac and Cheese, but Macintosh and Canon.
Carrying the Nikon, which was not even mine, I was asked to use the Canon camera for the duration of the class.
Dream or a premonition?
Woke up at like 5 am this morning grasping for water.
Probably cold or dry, no idea, but i had the most vivid dream still on my mind then.
Factually, your dreams are stored in your mind for a maximum of 10 minutes, however, I can distinctly recollect every moment.
Getting a 46 percent in my boards, committing suicide, and no one caring.
Probably cold or dry, no idea, but i had the most vivid dream still on my mind then.
Factually, your dreams are stored in your mind for a maximum of 10 minutes, however, I can distinctly recollect every moment.
Getting a 46 percent in my boards, committing suicide, and no one caring.
Helplessness
The state of helplessness hits me every time I wake up. From the annoying people around me to the depressing and now monotonous surroundings.
AWOL!
So I was AWOL from my blog for quite a long time, however, I was still writing and now will be publishing an array of blogs!
Tuesday, June 25
LYF.
My life-
its running,
out of control.
Stop it!
Pause it!
Rewind it?
Miss the past-
easiness,
fearless.
No burdens,
or responsibilities
nor constraints.
Simplicity,
joy,
death - AHOY!
its running,
out of control.
Stop it!
Pause it!
Rewind it?
Miss the past-
easiness,
fearless.
No burdens,
or responsibilities
nor constraints.
Simplicity,
joy,
death - AHOY!
PARANOIA.
Then the paranoia strikes
It turns me against all my likes
My thoughts seem surrounded by bleak dykes
All my fears run in, in extreme hikes
Am I scared of them?
Can I stop them before they stem?
I remain answerless
I sit stateless
My surroundings start to blur
The demons begin to slur
My body, soul and mind tremble
As my phobias begin to assemble
What do I start to resemble?
An apparition. I think I’m going to tumble
Down the trap laid by my mind
I need a quietus - the only way to unwind.
It turns me against all my likes
My thoughts seem surrounded by bleak dykes
All my fears run in, in extreme hikes
Am I scared of them?
Can I stop them before they stem?
I remain answerless
I sit stateless
My surroundings start to blur
The demons begin to slur
My body, soul and mind tremble
As my phobias begin to assemble
What do I start to resemble?
An apparition. I think I’m going to tumble
Down the trap laid by my mind
I need a quietus - the only way to unwind.
U+ME
I miss seeing your face,
Experiencing the whimsical annoyance!
It brings me down to tears,
My soul, she sears.
I miss your perfect nose,
And how your skin glows.
I miss us two.
Running past everything, through and through.
Ignoring what others say,
Lying on the same fray.
I miss running my fingers past your hair,
It gets messy?! I don’t care!
I miss the listening to you talk,
Enjoying your symphony, as we mutually gawk.
Spending nights,
Recreating petty fights,
Weren’t those fun sights?
I miss you standing next to me,
Crushing my hand, sigh, just you and me.
Experiencing the whimsical annoyance!
It brings me down to tears,
My soul, she sears.
I miss your perfect nose,
And how your skin glows.
I miss us two.
Running past everything, through and through.
Ignoring what others say,
Lying on the same fray.
I miss running my fingers past your hair,
It gets messy?! I don’t care!
I miss the listening to you talk,
Enjoying your symphony, as we mutually gawk.
Spending nights,
Recreating petty fights,
Weren’t those fun sights?
I miss you standing next to me,
Crushing my hand, sigh, just you and me.
Quit.
Want to quit
No more work, or any sweat.
I want to leave it all,
The ground around me fall.
Owe no one no more
Evade all the darkness and the gore.
Leave everyone behind,
I don’t, they shouldn’t mind.
Its my soul,
My drag, its all my whole.
Forgo all the quarrels
That run all over my morals.
I want to quit.
Run away from all this shit.
No more work, or any sweat.
I want to leave it all,
The ground around me fall.
Owe no one no more
Evade all the darkness and the gore.
Leave everyone behind,
I don’t, they shouldn’t mind.
Its my soul,
My drag, its all my whole.
Forgo all the quarrels
That run all over my morals.
I want to quit.
Run away from all this shit.
Glum.
What’s gotten over me?
Where’s my brightness and my glee?
Where’s my happiness?
Overshadowed by all this stress?
Where are those joyous times?
Why am I deaf to those serene songs and relaxing rhymes?
Don’t you want it all to reverse?
Get away from this curse?
Where’s my brightness and my glee?
Where’s my happiness?
Overshadowed by all this stress?
Where are those joyous times?
Why am I deaf to those serene songs and relaxing rhymes?
Don’t you want it all to reverse?
Get away from this curse?
Clarity.
I need clarity.
No favors. No charity.
The sense of the right path,
Sin darkness sin goth.
What I need to do next,
What will be best?
I don’t know!
These corrections just don’t flow.
I seek instruction-
Light towards the right direction.
I wish to evade it all,
Delay my duties, let them stall.
No favors. No charity.
The sense of the right path,
Sin darkness sin goth.
What I need to do next,
What will be best?
I don’t know!
These corrections just don’t flow.
I seek instruction-
Light towards the right direction.
I wish to evade it all,
Delay my duties, let them stall.
Thursday, March 14
Bitter Critic Reviews - Kai Po Che
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?! No, Its BITTER CRITIC!
What?
Well, we watch movies and we fall in love with that magical element that just makes a film perfect and viewable, over and over again, and that perfect song that plays in the backdrop just as soon as the protagonist catches the first glimpse of the girl while the breeze unveils her picture perfect face blushing while she beams. Oh, so adorable!
Well, I puke all over that.
That was probably the only way to delineate Bitter Critic.
And today, I'm reviewing Chetan Bhagat's book-turned-film, Kai Po Che, which I see from the point of view of well, a viewer, cynical, not like a technician, looking at oh well, how brilliant the lighting was and whether or not the music should have started just a millisecond later.
What?
Well, we watch movies and we fall in love with that magical element that just makes a film perfect and viewable, over and over again, and that perfect song that plays in the backdrop just as soon as the protagonist catches the first glimpse of the girl while the breeze unveils her picture perfect face blushing while she beams. Oh, so adorable!
Well, I puke all over that.
That was probably the only way to delineate Bitter Critic.
And today, I'm reviewing Chetan Bhagat's book-turned-film, Kai Po Che, which I see from the point of view of well, a viewer, cynical, not like a technician, looking at oh well, how brilliant the lighting was and whether or not the music should have started just a millisecond later.
Monday, December 24
Counter View : Delhi Gang Rape
In the light of the recent Gang Rape of a 23 year old paramedic and a violent assault on her male friend by 6 ruthless men on a public bus, a lot of views have been floating about how these men should be treated, what action must be taken and how to serve justice at the earliest. A majority are in favour of hanging the brutal insensitives, but is that really the only way to go?
Friday, October 26
You. ( Part 1 )
Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
If anyone may see me tonight,
You must.
Gliding across the hallway, she left tags of her fragrance, each being carefully followed and received by my nasal senses. The smell uniquely belonged to her and now was linked to her deep and mysterious olive emerald eyes, which gleamed every time I could distinctly smell her watermark.
The pale white light struck my eyes as if she had cast the Orton Effect upon my vision, which now blurred her pearl cream gradient long robe, the robe, which like a lake, flowed across the reflective marble surface which shone like diamonds in her radiance. Blinded by her beauty, I could no longer chase her scent or recapture her smile in my head. But, those glimpses, they could never fade away.
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